


Losing You

by XxDoctor_DeathxX



Category: N/A - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28214253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxDoctor_DeathxX/pseuds/XxDoctor_DeathxX
Summary: Sometimes you need to let it out in order to heal.





	Losing You

People may hear the story but they'll never know how I felt. You were my everything, my very reason for breathing. You were the flame that kept my heart from freezing over. The bright summer day that never failed to lift my spirits. Losing you continues to be the most painful thing I must bare. To realize that there's not a single person, nor will there ever be anyone who understands and completes me the way you did. If it weren't for me you'd be living happily, keeping busy with your projects and hobbies. I often find myslef thinking about what would've happened had I been the one to die in your place. Perhaps the world would've been better for it. I can still remember it all so vividly as if I had experienced it only moments ago. Everything had been so peaceful and happy but it was ruined in seconds. Hearing you yelling my name as shots rang out through the street like thunder. Feeling the concrete bite at my skin as you tackle me to the ground shielding me with your body. My ears ringing as your hands ran over my skin to make sure I was unharmed even as blood began to seep through your shirt. I remember the cold dread that settled into my stomach like a thousand tons of bricks at seeing the evergrowing red stain on your clothing. I didn't know what I was supposed to do as you crumpled into my arms grasping at my hands and face weakly. As you began shivering all I could do was hold you close and try to keep you warm. I don't remember ever feeling so helpless as I did in those final moments listening to your broken pleas. You begging me over and over for forgiveness as if you'd done something wrong. I tried to console you as I felt your precious life flowing through my fingers and watched as you slipped further and further away. It tore apart my insides to see that beautiful light I was so enamoured with fading from your eyes as you pleaded with me to let you stay as if I held the key to your survival. I hadn't noticed my own tears until you gently wiped them away telling me that you loved me and you were sorry, the very last words leaving your lips in less than a whisper. I panicked as your hand fell from my skin and your eyes went blank. I grabbed at you, begging you to stay with me shaking your now still form. I could feel the sobs wracking my body but couldn't hear them over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. I begged you to please wake up and tell me it was just a cruel joke so I could have you back. So I could see that wonderfully crooked smile of yours once more. I don't know how long I had sat there just hugging your cold body to my chest and sobbing but it didn't feel real. My mind screamed at me to wake up and let it all be some cruel nightmare. I had long since closed your eyes, not being able to bare the loss of warmth in them of which I had become so fond. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see a paramedic, my mind shattering. The fantasy of it being a dream came crashing down in flames and the anguish I felt quickly boiled into rage as I cursed them for not being too late. I screamed slurs at them as they pulled you from my arms until my throat became raw and my lungs burned. I continued to yell at and berate them for their carelessness even as my voice no longer made a sound and I was picked up and pulled away from the scene. The farther I was taken away from you the more I began to panic at the realization that you were well and truly gone. I tried pleading with the officer to put me down, to let me go to you even though it was pointless. My vocal cords refused to make any noise yet I continued to call out for you as though it would make you come back, as though you would fight your way towards me. I watched as the ambulance began to drive off with you locked away inside and I forced myself out of the cop's arms and after you. I chased after you forcing my legs to run even as they burned and begged me for rest, my body wanting to give out as my adrenaline faded. I only stopped when the ambulance disappeared from my sight. I sobbed silently dropping to my hands and knees, hitting my fists against the pavement. My sobbs quieted down into soft cries as I felt myself being lifted up and carried away. My body ached in pain but my mind was numb as I slowly let myself drift away into unconsciousness hoping it would let me see you again.


End file.
